Communication is central in marriage and just like in any other relationship, when there is no communication, the marriage starts to stink and eventually sink. However, communication is not only active but also something one does intentionally. For instance, Beth Kebirungi, a relationship counsellor says if your partner did something you have repeatedly told them not to, chances are, you will think they are taking you for granted.

“However, keeping quiet and zoning them out is only the start of a wall that will be difficult to break with each passing day. It is crucial that couples communicate in both good and bad times because life is characterized by such,” she says.

For better communication in your marriage in 2023, here are some things to take note of:

Hinting or complaining: Hinting is often said to be synonymous with women but can also be done by men. Therefore, in 2023, rather than give a hint of what is disturbing you or simply complaining about what you do not like, Kebirungi says, one should voice what they need clearly.

“It is important that you do not let your spouse guess what is disturbing you because that is overwhelming. Make marriage beautiful and easier by being open. Even when being clear; not beating about the bush, remember that this is your spouse. Therefore, do it kindly and without attitude.”

Assuming and false meaning: Inasmuch as you are a couple, each of you has mind of their own, thus sometimes, one may misunderstand what the other means. If we are to run with our assumptions, chances are we may misunderstand the other party which breeds a lot of negative as well as wrong sentiments. Therefore, couples are better off believing the best about their spouse and not automatically interpreting their actions as something against them.

Tone and body language: Communication is both verbal and non-verbal where verbal entails the spoken word while non-verbal encompasses the body language. Unfortunately, often, people pay attention to the verbal more than the non-verbal communication. However, as much as words create scars when poorly used, so does body language.

“Your tone should be tempered as you speak to your spouse, more so when angry because then, it is easy for the voice to be hard and raised. As you communicate this year, learn to control your tongue and be calm. Additionally, the scrawls and groans, the shoulder shrugs and foot stumping or banging of doors should be done with a pinch of salt because they send various messages that are often not good for the relationship. It helps to watch all these as you communicate,” she advises.

It is crucial to remain aware of the intentional and unintentional messages you send through your tone and body language.

Communication makes and breaks relationships. Therefore, it is better that as couples start this year, they check and polish their communication skills.