Can we just love without the roses?

The current trend is that someone who is single on Valentine’s Day is lacking and not lovable. Because of this belief that the world has endorsed, this particular day leaves many feeling less of who they are.

Back in the day, love was kind, patient, tolerant and so many other beautiful things. People fell in love and made life simpler for everyone; there is some change love brings that you can’t define. Your heart is jumpy, you are more thoughtful, creative and caring, and nothing is as serious to make you lose your smile.

But today, many people are struggling with isolation and loneliness which is either society, belief induced and sometimes a personal decision due to past experiences. But the honest truth is, most don’t want to be alone.

There is a reason God created Eve after Adam. Adam could not live alone because he needed support, he desired a helper, a friend who will hug him through the storm and multiply to grow into a family. According to scientific explanations, humans need social connection, and it has been proven that married people live longer than singles.

However, as much as you may rule out marriage or commitment to a partner, your body will desire connection and it is often hard to escape that demand, yet it is not morally right to indulge with everyone because diseases are on the loose.

The original concept of love has been hijacked by the movie scripts, the 21st century expectations, societal pressure and the search for perfection. Whereas money is important in any sphere of life, it shouldn’t be the foundation of everything.

Today, young men and women have designed and stuck to lists from where they will evaluate and judge the capability of a to-be partner and if they don’t measure up, then it is goodbye. This wasn’t the case in the 80’s or 90’s; love was the ultimate prize. Looks and material things were just extras that would come along the way.

Many young people are lonely and disconnected; hiding behind the notion of self-love and friendships. Once someone experiences a heartbreak, they are afraid to try again or engage in social engagements, courtship and dating affairs.

We can’t just sit and wish for a lover; you have to build him and redefine love. What if we could love without hesitation or being afraid to be heartbroken, how about we redefine love by loving without holding back or expecting too much.

A boyfriend/fiancé/wife shouldn’t become your psychologist, handling your tantrums, mood swings trauma and insecurities. Give love your best and don’t be afraid to fail because when you excel, the victory is yours.

Whereas culture dictates the woman or man you should love and when, the final decision is in your hands. For example, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about lovers only. It is a day to express love, to go an extra mile, to appreciate and remind the people that have been dear to you that you are grateful for their contribution and they are loved genuinely.

Love isn’t only shown through heart shaped chocolates or roses.  Love is expressed every day through how we treat people, how we contribute to the communities we survive in, how we treat strangers and many other ways. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the only day you buy flowers or cook dinner for your family or spouse. Let it be a norm, let love live and thrive every day in our lives and hearts.

By Hedwig Arinaitwe, journalist and creative writer


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