How to deal with a cheating partner
Lately, incidences of cheating in relationships seem to have rapidly risen, sighting the many videos and threads going around on different social media platforms.
Last week, the internet was awash with a video of a pregnant married woman and a pastor, who were caught having intimate interactions. This video spread to all social media platforms and the public was left to judge and debate about the incident.
One twitter user said “thank you for sharing this video, I hope young women learn a lesson from this”.
Another blamed the woman, saying she has no justification to cheat on her husband, especially since she was pregnant. However, some sympathized, encouraging the husband to pardon her and not let his home get destroyed.
Marriage counsellor Sandra Agaba says that cheating partners usually carry the burden of guilt, which alters their behaviour.
“This guilt sometimes turns into rage, especially when confronted. It is, therefore, advisable to have enough evidence when facing the person because your revelation may spark thousands of reactions,’’ she says.
Cheating in a relationship means that one has betrayed the trust of the other by establishing intimate or sexual relationships with someone else secretly.
When cheating happens, there is no prescribed way to handle the situation because every relationship is different and unique. However, if there is a chance of rebuilding trust, be open to trying.
The situation may be frustrating, but here are some tips to deal with a cheating partner.
Open up to your partner
It is mature enough to sit someone down and talk to them other than letting it out into the public. What if you are wrong? Open up to your partner and hear their side of the story before ending the marriage or relationship. Alternatively, you can work out an apology and request your partner to vow to sort the issue for the survival of your bond.
Don’t seek revenge
When there has been betrayal, rage is induced and often times it may lead to thoughts of getting back at the cheating partner. However, what does it benefit you to pay back with worse; it makes the situation even more complicated. Taking it to social media, telling their friends and family is not a good solution either because the opinions from the outside may just push you into a state of anger yet you’re trying to heal.
It is better to keep details private until you meet a professional counsellor.
Copying with unfaithfulness is one very complicated situation. There is need for an experienced person to help you communicate your feelings better and deal with whatever information you may discover. Don’t make it harder than it already is. Talk to a professional therapist about whether to end the marriage or relationship. It is very dangerous to make decisions when angry, so seek a second voice before slamming the door.
Drowning yourself in self-pity and hiding in the dark will not make the situation go away. The best solution is to keep yourself busy and engaged so that you think less of the situation. Alternatively, find a new hobby, go to the gym and practice a self-love routine where you have fun.
Keep the children out of it
Remember that the relationship is between two grownups. Children don’t have anything to do with any of it. If either decides to end the marriage, don’t give the children options of taking sides; instead work out a good co-parenting plan so that the children don’t experience back and forth movements.
Accept your feelings In such situations, you will experience mixed feelings of depression, pain, fear, betrayal, mistrust, guilt and resentment which is normal. To make it easier, accept what you are feeling and express how you feel so that the other person understands what it means to you.