Friendships are crucial, yes, they are beautiful and worth fighting for. However, there is something beautiful about girlfriends. I have this girl that is now a sister if you get what I am saying. We met at university and though younger than I am, she is a gem. Yes, we have fallen out and made up but in her is a lioness I need in my life, a fire that is necessary on those long dark nights, and a genuineness my sister lacked. Am I emotional? Maybe, but she has been and continues to be solid and I am thankful for her. So, rather than talk to professionals about why girlfriend relationships are crucial, I will share with you my plate of experience.

When I was getting ready to dive deep into a relationship with my now husband, I went to her. Then, it felt like one girl with her boyfriend going to visit her dear friend. However, thinking about it today, I was actually telling her about the man I had chosen to do life with. To think about it, I had not done that with my sister. Her joy and excitement were worth beholding. No, she was not seeing him for the first time because we had been together since university. Her support was amazing and that is what a genuine girlfriend is all about.

Then as I was about to get married, my girl was there. There were several fights I weathered during this period and she was a sure support. Giving me hope when all seemed dark. Yes, at one time I was under her father’s roof because I needed a safe place to think through all the pressure from the arrangement. Imagine, I became part of the household, just like that and I am forever thankful that she loved me that much. She gave me a shoulder when I really needed one.

And yes, she was my matron and, she was solid. Hey, I was supposed to be the older girl but I also got that shoulder and listening ear like no one gave it to me.

But it has not been all about me loading it on her. There have been beautiful moments such as when we get on the phone and laugh so hard, we cry. Yes, I am talking about those one-hour calls and we laugh for at least 45 minutes. It is a moment of turning the seemingly ugly moments into funny ones, which empowers us. It is a time to look back on where we started in university and thank God for how far we have come. Indeed, having this relationship is not only valuable for the dark days but adds flavour to life

With her, I lay issues bare without fear of judgement and am certain that she will walk with me to a solution. And yes, there are times she has tried to wear the brave hat on me but I have been with her a couple of years to hear the pain behind the smile. That is a privilege and beautiful as it helps me hold her in prayer too. To say that this girl is a gem is an understatement because she comes through even when I do not expect her to.

She is also genuine as well as gentle. That mix is not easy to find but we have come to understand each other as to know which buttons to press hard and which ones to be gentle at.

While female relationships are often said to have a lot of drama, having a real girlfriend is priceless.

Joan S

A journalist, parenting coach, and blogger